PyaR K $!dE eFFe(ts

                                    
Late that night I was sitting cross-legged on my couch. Staring into nothingness and wondering about the actual reason for all the shitty things that have happened in my life over the last 7-8 months. This was the first time ever I proposed a girl and she refused to reject me (mind you that already many times before I have been rejected). After analyzing and rationally judging my activities I concluded that being in a relationship has many side-effects. Now such a big idle brat I am, I decided to help my friends by sharing my adventurous and roller coaster type experience in love.

• The first and the most prevalent problem faced by guys is that they have to just cut away from their social circle. This often results in long lasting friendships broken in seconds. This is because of our habitual practice of indulging in vulgar talks with our friends and abusing each others mother and sisters in all possible circumstances. All this leads to a very ludicrous or absurd situation where we can’t abuse but we also can’t resist abusing because of the high degree of obsession with those kinds of words like “BC” and “MC”. Now to overcome this problem and to gift ourselves a prolonged relationship we ignore our friends and cut away from our immediate peer circle.

• Another big problem faced by me during my relationship period was that of gifts. A guy in a relationship would always dread from this single word “gifts”. Be it any occasion or any time of the year, girls would never leave an opportunity to ask for a gift. And most peculiar thing about this is that they always love to be gifted with stuff toys like teddies. It often leaves me wondering its better being a teddy than a boyfriend as it gives you the opportunity to get cuddled with those soft sweet hands and being kissed gently and to escape those awkward moments when we have to just shell out money so as to keep them happy.

• We all know that girls our either dumb (literally dumb) or shrewd when it comes to handling relationships. Now in both cases for an average with not a very high level of IQ (like me), the after effects of being in a relationship can be drastic and the results catastrophic. Dumb girls make our life hell by cracking all those heart piercing PJ’s and by those idiotic immature talks. Now if we don’t listen and comment on it they would get upset and the vicious cycle of giving gifts and saying sorry begins. In case your girlfriend is shrewd and utilizes you to your best of the capability, I just don’t have words to describe that feeling. The feeling of knowing of how screwed your life has become but still not able to do anything. I am lucky that till date I have never dated such a girl in my life so cant really describe the experience.

• The most ferocious of all the side effects is that you become so familiar with the word “sorry” because of its repetitive use that whatever be the situation, sorry just blurts out of your mouth even if you would have wanted to thrash that other guy. You become so humble and down to earth kind of guy and all your attitude is just blown away in just a couple of days entering into a relationship. This is mostly annoying when you are a kind of guy who usually does not compromise much but have to do so in front of girlfriends. Yeah girl power, I know, result of high level of women empowerment. Screw those female protagonists and feminists.

• Another problem faced by me was that of sex. As my friends would know how big sex enthusiast I’m and how deeply I advocate the philosophy of sex in my friend circle. The problem was I was not able to catch on the pornography action and also could not have sex (would not have been ethical otherwise I was always ready) so was always dissatisfied and melancholy. So as an adviser to all of you I would suggest, be committed only if you could contain yourself within your limits. 

    

Now after suffering from all those side effects myself I could now very well understand why those guys were so happy just after few days of breakup. Until now I just thought that they were just showing off how cool they are and acting as if they are not worried about the girl and are stress free. After my scratchy relationship, I am now totally aware of the feeling of getting very much excited to have a girlfriend and very much relived after breakups. Now I fully understand the whole concept of breakup parties and the actual meaning of the famous Hindi phrase “SHADI KE LADOO JO KHAYE WO B PACHTAYE AUR JO NA KHAYE WO B PACHTAYE”.

Hope that this post of mine would help my readers (yes, yes I know that I’m exaggerating a bit too much about having readers) in their relationships, as they would already know the various effects they would have to face and would try to be careful.