Aliens in my life

Now don’t get pissed of by having a look through the title of the blog, remarking that this foolish and contemptible guy is  yet another sci-fi geek who is there to elaborate upon the fact of the presence of aliens and has started from where that weird paranoid oldie Stephen Hawking left. However in reality I’m just opposite type of guy who usually smirks and looks around the beautiful things lord almighty has in store for us, mind you it only represents those dolls (dumb and beautiful girls) and dames, while such kinds of lectures are going on in class. Now I would like to clarify that this post is on those guys who, I don’t know how, have become an indispensable part of my life but are not tolerable for more than 2 to 3 hours a day. Now some of the common characteristics of these guys are:-

1.       These guys are an easy target for crooks like me who want to get their work done from someone without taking any pain. Often they are themselves responsible for the mind numbing toil they have to do and that to, for either doing someone else’s work (because they easily succumb under the pressure of their friends) or as punishment. Calling them “a chu****” would be an understatement, so that’s why the word ALIEN (unfamiliar and disturbing).

2.       You can expect them to commit a big faux pas (social blunder). Sometimes they would be like very subtle and low as if they have been left for dead and at other times so very much excited, gay cheerful and happy about everything in life. They are seriously very, very difficult to understand and endure.

3.       These guys sometimes make you laugh even in the hardest of times but can also make you a murderer (kill him for his joke) in split of a second by cracking a damn killer PJ or make you think “is he from earth only or someone from Mars” or “what a heinous crime his father has committed by reproducing such an offspring”. They can become a serious problem for their parents when they attain a marriageable age if they are not, if not good than at least decent looking. This is so, because as it is they are as stupidly obstinate as a person could be, and on top of that are not at all good looking or sexually appealing. In most of the other cases it is not so i.e. the mental stability and intelligence of a person covers up the fact of not being striking and handsome. But quite ironically they think of themselves as super studs and go to despicable deaths of stupidity and dumbness. For example, if a somewhat sexy girl is quite staring at him (in disgust), they would think that she has fallen for her and boasts about it to every other guy who he would meet as tough he has got a night out with Katy Perry. In front of girls they would talk only about girls and girls(to rise in the eyes to the passive listner) and would pretend to know each and every girl (from a geek to the sexiest) in his locality, which once again get him tagged as a Chu or even a women smuggler. These people often become a headache for me and I think of smacking their ass to make it so sour that it becomes extremely difficult for them to even pee. The most common phrase that I think is suitable for them is to “get stuffed”.

4.       Apart from being stupid they are big-mouthed and highly self obsessed. They are most likely to make such a statement in the public which would land them in trouble and then they will come running after us for help, saying phrases like “bhai kand ho Gaya” or “lanka lag gayi bhai”. They often exaggerate the situation much and get their low-blowed after we come to know the actual position. This usually makes him the laughing stock among his friends. The most humorous part of their character is that they take advice from their friends on a task after doing that work. Or would take advice on not much important topics, and giving advice to them, make me feels like wasting time for the first time in my life. One regular feature of these guys are that they mostly run after a girl who has had already dumped them, and that too not once or twice but many times,and after sometimes i.e after a year or so be abusing her and asking help from their friends to help them make that “spinster” feel jealous or seek help to nail that “filthy bitch” in public.

Seriously guys’, having such a friend is like suffering an exasperating setback in your life. But what to do, as mentioned earlier they have become an indispensable part of my life. So to maintain an amicable relationship with these aliens, the only good thing in their personality from which I am benefited (except from their dumbness because of which most of my work is completed) is that they are pure at heart. 

P.S:please don’t kill me guys after reading this.