Fare WELL

23^rd January both commenced and ended with a bang for me. The day was inaugurated with a tight “Kantaap” (slap) on my face by my mother and the words “uth jaa, late ho rha hai”. I don’t have words to describe my emotional condition, my despair, pain and longing for few more precious minutes of sleep but as a result that slap I had a glowing red cheek without any parlor treatment and was radiating heat. WOW. A perfect start for the day, served like a tonic the whole day. After that I did the usual morning activities, no, wait, it was not usual at all, damn today was my farewell and it took me nearly half-an-hour (precious time) to get ready, task which normally took me 10-15 minutes on regular school days. Shit, I could have utilized that time in some more sleep. But surely no regrets.

Finally after getting ready I started my journey to the historical place “RIS-TY”. Seriously, for this place would only be history for me from now on. But unfortunately the journey seemed never ending with that long jam which prevented me from reaching the destination on time. This jam was the by-product of the money-minting talent and ability of our traffic police-men by unnecessarily stopping a truck on the excuse of checking for republic day and earning some early morning bribe. After overcoming the trauma of that elongated, unnecessary jam during which I had to answer at least a dozen phone calls about my delay, I at last reached my school which I was obviously coming for the last time (not to count the times I would have to make here again for re-tests and boards pacticals). After barely managing to make to the  school on time, I met a friend of mine, a blithering babbling baboon, who came running towards me shouting “Beer-Vodka” in front of my parents instead of usual hi’s and hello’s to remind me about our plan of becoming “BHAND”. Crap. I felt like killing him that moment but controlled that emotion somehow.

Then we left to RIS-GN. Thankfully nothing eventful happened en-route apart from the normal shitty crap conversation which for obvious reasons I would not like to elaborate.

The real fun started when we reached “RIS- Greater Noida”, a palace of a school with an amphitheatre which resembled the ground of Wembley. Well, a sweet over exaggeration of the fact that it was looking nice, not because of the decorations but because of the large quantum of “sweet and sexy” sari clad girls it sustained for the time being. Believe me it was real difficult to control both my emotions and the whistle to blow out from my mouth. These seemed to be reflex actions. And this problem was faced by all. But not long before our glands had started to release high amount of adrenalin, gate-crashed our party, the universal mood-spoiler our director “Grace Pinto”. I didn’t use the prefix Ma’am because calling her Madame would mean showing disrespect to her well maintained and superiorly built physique. On her arrival she segregated the boys and girls into different group dismantling the fundamental right of each and every child studying in a co-ed school. On top of that we were starved for nearly 5-6 hours on just one sandwich and a juice while se was served a chocolate cake. Bull shit. That was not all she gave that unbearable, torturing and fatal speech in a monotone asking, pleading and begging blessings from all the students for her dear husband Mr. A F Pinto our chairman. Crap. The only moment when I felt happy about her presence in that amphitheatre was the time when I was destined to receive an award for my favorite pastime, that of being an avid reader. Apart from this award receiving and the sight of beautiful girls all around nothing was pleasant in that oversized school.

 On returning to our school, we were given to eat and as expected all the students ran to the stall like starving rats released from cage causing havoc and chaos in the school grounds. Yes, of-course not girls who were overcautious about their expensive drape and makeup and showed the most appealing patience in such starving times. The available stock of chapattis and vegetables especially “paneer” vanished into thin air just like ninjas. Finally after stuffing out bellies we went to the dance floor to digest that food. The problem we now encountered was how to dance freely with those priceless trophies in our hands. So to get rid of it, me and mine winner friends stacked them into the bag of two 11^th‘ies. After that we all danced like Salman Khan and went crazy doing and imitating every step that we have once seen and even that of petty harlots seen in some useless Bollywood flick. Thereafter we resorted to clicking photographs with every other guy present. But the real trouble started when one of the girls who had my friend’s trophy went home without returning it while I was trying my luck to get clicked with on of those beautiful girls. FUCK. That was bad. There are only few times when you get trophies from the school principle and not suspension letters and damn our stars we even loose that. No rewards for guessing that I became the boxing bag for that unfortunate boy and was bestowed 30 mighty blows on every part of my body. I thank him for not hitting me anywhere below waist or I would have become “impotent”. Phew.

And at last like a bad dream that day had to end, we were to return tour homes; listen to the heart piercing taunts from our parents from the very next days to study, mugging our textbooks like real nerds and return to that monotonous routine. But I can definitely guarantee that each and every guy present in the farewell would always remember this day and dream of more such beautiful days in his life hereafter.

although i am looking horrible, but still these are some last memories of this school. :)